Paul wrote in Galatians chapter 5:
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Paul listed the works of the flesh which are contrary to walking in self-control. If a person does not know Love, their actions and/or intent will be included within this list. The only question is how many of the different works will describe that actions of the person. In order to walk in self-control you must press in to walking in the Spirit. The first thing you must do is focus on unconditional Love. It is the basis of “self” control.
Since FATHER’S Character is the Divine origin of unconditional Love we must focus on HIM and learn about HIS ways. HE sent HIS Son to provide us a manifested example of how to walk, talk, and respond to all situations. You can only mature in this area by first focusing on the Gospels. Since the Gospel of John had a focus on Love, I would suggest reading this Gospel first. Read the Gospels with an open and clear mind, preferably first thing in the morning before the clutter and chaos of the day enter in. Most people read the Bible because they are searching for an answer to a petition rather than simply seeking to be fulfilled.
After you read the Gospels with a fresh outlook, consider doing something to bless others. As you give, you begin to walk in self-control. The more you give the more self-control you practice. When you take, you feed selfishness and your ego. When you argue, you take from the other person in some manner for you begin to suck the life out of them.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen and it requires patience. We must let patience have its perfect work and as we overcome the pressure of time our self-control will become more mature. FATHER had me pray in the mornings before work for 10 years (1990-2000) and then one day HE said “Okay, you’re done.” That was a time of learning self-control.
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Paul’s list could be used as a progression to self-control. Of course Love begins the list. As you embrace all aspects of unconditional Love you will have joy and peace. You will become longsuffering and kind. Your purity of purpose will bring forth goodness. Love is faithful and gentle. Voila! Self-control has been achieved.